How to Use Bondage During Sex

Belt

Illustration by Ryn Gargulinski

Bondage during sex has been kicking around for centuries. It’s mentioned in everything from Marquis de Sade to modern novels and movies, with hundreds of fetish flicks in between. Bondage can be a form of play where one partner, obviously, is the dominant “master” and the other the submissive “slave.” A few simple steps will help you use bondage during sex and assure things don’t get out of hand or harmful for either party.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Willing partner
• Something to tie the partner up with

1. Step 1

   Make sure your partner is willing. The right way to do bondage is with a willing partner. Discuss the idea and if it’s a go, go for it. Never spring rope, chains and handcuffs on someone while you’re in the middle of an intimate moment unless it has been agreed upon. You can not only freak someone out, but you could also get arrested for an array of charges, like use of force or holding someone against their will.

2. Step 2

   Gather your bondage tools. Anything that keeps a person bound in place is fair game. This includes leather straps, belts, neckties, rope, chains, dog collars and leashes, you name it. Just don’t pick anything that will be so tight it will cut off the person’s circulation. Likewise, don’t pick anything with sharp edges turned inward that could cut the person to shreds. If you use handcuffs, make sure you have the key.

3. Step 3

   Tie your partner up. A traditional stance is binding someone spread eagle on the bed, with arms and legs tied at the headboard and footboard or to the bed’s frame. You can also bind someone in a chair, to window bars or a fence or pretty much anything else immobile and sufficient enough to told the person. Avoid radiators that are hissing steam.

4. Step 4

   Indulge in your dominance. Once your partner is tied up, you become the dominant master. Indulge in your role and make sure your actions are not harmful to your partner.

5. Step 5

   Have fun, not injuries, humiliation or hurt feelings. Bondage is a form of play, not a way to torture or harm someone. If your partner is clearly not enjoying himself, by all means stop it. Also, discuss a code word in advance that either one of you can say to stop the action.