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Kamis, 13 Mei 2010

The Meaning of sex

Sex has no intrinsic Meaning.


The desire to give sex meaning is an understandable, important enterprise. Honestly approached, it can be a valuable exercise; disguised as the righteous desire to simply appreciate the meaning sex has, or as the pursuit of restoring sex's "true" meaning, it is a common source of conflict for both individuals and society.

Sex only has meaning insofar as we experience it. Its meaning is emergent, not objective. We discover the meaning of sex each time we are sexual, meaning that only resides in our experience. The meaning of sex changes--is reinvented--each time we are sexual.

Most people need sex to have meaning because the alternative is too frightening: being sexual in an existential vacuum. Sex without meaning would require participants to float freely in sexual experience, rather than being snugly anchored in a cognitive framework.

This is scary because of our indoctrination that sex is bad. We learn that we need protection from our sexuality: its non-linear, open-ended nature, its cacophony of impulses and feelings, its transcendent possibility of taking us away from ourselves. We might not, after all, make it back.

Because sex is ultimately grounded in the body, it is a right-brain, non-linear experience, not a left-brain, cognitive one. Of course, sex can be analyzed, evaluated, and so on, but not as part of the experience. Having sex and understanding sex are two separate activities, much like eating and understanding nutrition are two separate activities. Trying to understand nutrition or digestion while eating undermines the sensuality and enjoyment offered by the experience of dining.

"Sex" is not limited to intercourse; not even limited, in fact, to genital activities. In reality, "sex" describes a huge range of activities. This is half of a dialectic: many things can be sex because sex has whatever meaning we experience moment by moment; and sex has an infinite range of meanings because the scope of activities that can properly be called sexual is so vast.

People who believe they know the objective meaning of sex can easily say what sex is and what it isn't. Their dichotomy is clear, the sexual side predictably narrow. That's one reason such people can be so self-righteous about what humans should and should not do sexually.

"Intimacy," for example, is a common rallying point for people who need sex to have Meaning. "Intimacy" (which, of course, means radically different things to different people) is fine. But setting it up as a standard for "healthy" sexuality creates a hierarchy of sexual experiences, downplaying or even excluding many of its most important aspects.

This must be true regardless of the particular meaning people decide sex "really" has. In this sense, Christianity and other sex-negative institutions are not the only source of sexual repression in our culture. Rigidity about sexual experience, meaning, and decision-making is the true culprit.

Organized Humanism, for example, stands opposed to religious concepts of sex being inherently evil. But to the extent that Humanism is attempting to discover some secular "true meaning" of sex, it colludes with society's conceptual rigidity. Ultimately, it is different from other sexual dogmas only in content.

With the perspective that sex has only emergent meaning, we can experience a huge range of sexual feelings and meanings. With a different perspective, much of this range is either invisible, or worse, repugnant and, by definition, excluded.

Sexuality, for example, has a dark side. One can deal with this in many ways, but an experience-based model of sexuality does not judge this fact. Instead it accepts it, makes room for it, plays with it or not, but always respects it.

If, however, one believes sex has a revealed meaning--say, it must always "nurture a relationship"--then there's no room in the model for sex to have a dark side. One has to deny that it's there, and say it reflects a perverse mind, weed it out, destroy it--because its existence threatens the model of what sex should be. This is a primary source of censorship and other repressive movements.

The fact that sex has no intrinsic meaning is, actually, its ultimate positive quality. It gives us the opportunity to discover an
infinite number of meanings in sex, and to use sex as a vehicle for self-exploration. And it gives us the chance to play, in the purest sense of the word.

But the fact that sex has no meaning is scary. It means that every time you're sexual you're adrift. It means you have to take responsibility for your choices and experiences. If you believe that sex is dangerous, of course, or if you believe that sex is so powerful that it can destroy you, this is a terrifying prospect.

Sex's lack of meaning is also scary because it means partners are not subject to our control, or accountable to objective criteria. It means we have no authority to tell a partner, "you're obviously wrong for what you like or do sexually, so you should want what I want--sex the 'right way.'"

Sex having no meaning requires that we trust ourselves when being sexual. First, it means making choices from a vast array of options. Will we make good choices? Choices that reveal things about us we're defended against? This is far worse than simply being exposed as having lust in your heart. Will we be attracted to activities that "good people" are not? Will our choices hurt our partner, our family, our country?

Second, we have to trust sex. Will it take us so far out that we can't come back? Will we have our eyes put out by its brightness or darkness? It's like reaching into the back of a cave without knowing what's back there. It takes courage.

Third, we have to trust our partner. Can s/he handle whatever we create sexually? Can s/he go to new sexual vistas with us as we invent them, or will we find ourselves alone? Will s/he go further or faster than we do, also leaving us feeling alone? In reality, sex is almost always an experience of oscillation: of partners being alone and then finding each other, again and again. Can we tolerate being parallel and then coming together, then splitting up again moments later, trusting that we'll find our way back toward each other?

Finally, we have to trust that we're adequate--that is, that our body will respond to whatever challenge sex presents. In reality, that's redundant, because sex only exists in the body, and so it can't present challenges our body can't handle. In this sense, losing an erection, for example, is a perfect response to whatever is going on at the moment. Only if we have a particular, arbitrary standard for our body's behavior is a lost erection problematic.

Many troubling behaviors reflect how badly people wish sex to have meaning. To sustain the illusion that it does, for example, society is willing to persecute some members through laws regulating consensual sexual behavior or preventing sex education. This is why people are invested in others' sexuality--because it feels dangerous to have alternative models of
sexuality floating around. In this sense, the desire for sex to have meaning makes society a theocracy, with the government, organized religion, and media its priesthood.

This wish for sexual meaning is also behind the common desire for special rules to govern sexual behavior and decision-making. This is an example of the wish, as Fromm called it, to escape from freedom: to avoid taking responsibility for the complex and (it feels) dangerous richness of our sexuality.

Ecstatic sexuality--that is, body-centered instead of mind-controlled--is possible only if we let go of socially-constructed,
allegedly ontological boundaries of sex. People fear this is the same thing as letting go of ethical boundaries, which is not true. Ethical boundaries regarding sexuality do not require some arbitrary, objective ontological boundaries being imposed on the sexual body and mind.

Progressive people should be vigorously developing a dialogue that addresses sexuality's ecstatic nature through a non-moralistic, non-dogmatic exploration. We should be helping people understand sexuality in its mysterious yet non-mystical, meaningful (emergent) yet not Meaningful (objective), sacred yet non-Religious grandeur.

Ironically, the sanctified meaning that people want sex to have blocks access to the very transcendent qualities they claim they desire. By confronting this personal and social reification, we could give people a chance to have the profound sexual experiences whose possibilities are wired into both the human body and the mind's capacity to bond with others.

So is sex meaningless? Yes and no. It is meaningless in the objective or philosophic sense. But it is meaningful on the personal, experiential level. One reason that people engage in sex is to be periodically renewed, nourished in their experience of whatever kind of meaning they expect--whether that meaning involves intimacy, closeness, pleasure, creativity, bodily perfection, or the promise that life is OK.

The desire to pretend that sex has meaning is understandable. It indicates a desire to be grounded, to depend on something. But developmentally, we all have to get off the floor and walk, even though it seems so terribly high up there, and the floor seems so terribly hard, and falling is so terribly scary.

As with all fears, how we respond to this one is a clear statement of where we are. Pretending we don't have this fear is immature, and it prevents us from moving forward. Acknowledging this fear is a prerequisite for constructing a mature universe.

So we need to deal with this fear by confronting it: by looking sex straight in the eye of its deep, black maw, and walking straight in--whistling a happy tune, if necessary --trusting sex and ourselves, knowing that the worst thing that can happen is merely that we'll have an experience we don't want to repeat.

Because we can't learn to walk without falling a few times. The question is, what's more important--learning how to walk, or preventing a few bumps along the way?

How to Give the Best Blow Job He's Ever Had

Give the  Best Blow Job He's Ever Had
Give the Best Blow Job He's Ever Had
www.photoxpress.com

Many women are timid when it comes to oral sex and are very afraid of doing it wrong. A poorly performed blow job can lead to a very awkward situation. There's no need to worry, ladies. I'm about to show you how to give a blow job he'll never forgot. So the next time your man wants some oral action, you'll have the confidence of knowing exactly what to do!


Difficulty: Easy
Instructions
  1. Step 1

    Start confident. Your attitude has a lot to do with how satisfying the oral sex will be for your man. Be playful and flirty. Tease him a bit by running your tongue from his chest to his lower belly. Kiss his lower abs then look up at him and smile. This will set the mood for a very fun evening!

  2. Step 2

    Really enjoy it. Let your man know just how turned on you are over pleasuring him. Moan and make small noises while he's in your mouth. This will not only sound hot, but will cause sound vibrations on his member that will rock his world. Stop for a second after you start to tell him how good he tastes. Trust me; that's one thing that every man is dying to hear.

  3. Step 3

    Master the moves. While attitude and enthusiasm go a long way, you need the skills to back it up. The first thing to remember is that while men enjoy a woman who can deep throat, it's ok if you can't. If he's too large for your mouth simply go as far as you comfortably can and then make a snug ring with your thumb and index finger around the remaining part of him. Use your saliva as lubricant and move your hand up and down in unison with your mouth. Every now and then during the blow job stop at the head and gently suck and lick it like a lollypop for a few seconds before taking him back into your mouth. Also don't forget about his balls. They need love too. Caress them with your free hand while you go down on him. Massage and stroke them affectionately. This will double his pleasure greatly! While you're moving him in and out of your mouth remember that pressure is important. Don't suck so hard that you hurt him but don't let your mouth hang loose either. Keep it comfortably wrapped around him. Try to swirl your tongue around his shaft as you take him in and out. This can be tricky at first, but start off slow and you'll eventually get the hang of it.

  4. Step 4

    Add extra surprises every now and then. To keep oral sex fresh, try new things every once and a while. Pop a strong mint in your mouth right before you go down on him. This will create an amazing cooling sensation that he'll love. Catch him off guard and give him a spontaneous blow job during a normal daily activity like watching TV or playing video games. Take the lead and give him oral while he's watching the game or playing his favorite game. Then when you're done, continue on like nothing happened. He'll be startled, aroused and speechless all at the same time!


How to Use Bondage During Sex

Belt
Belt
Illustration by Ryn Gargulinski

Bondage during sex has been kicking around for centuries. It’s mentioned in everything from Marquis de Sade to modern novels and movies, with hundreds of fetish flicks in between. Bondage can be a form of play where one partner, obviously, is the dominant “master” and the other the submissive “slave.” A few simple steps will help you use bondage during sex and assure things don’t get out of hand or harmful for either party.


Difficulty: Moderate
Instructions

Things You'll Need:

  • Willing partner
  • Something to tie the partner up with
  1. Step 1

    Make sure your partner is willing. The right way to do bondage is with a willing partner. Discuss the idea and if it’s a go, go for it. Never spring rope, chains and handcuffs on someone while you’re in the middle of an intimate moment unless it has been agreed upon. You can not only freak someone out, but you could also get arrested for an array of charges, like use of force or holding someone against their will.

  2. Step 2

    Gather your bondage tools. Anything that keeps a person bound in place is fair game. This includes leather straps, belts, neckties, rope, chains, dog collars and leashes, you name it. Just don’t pick anything that will be so tight it will cut off the person’s circulation. Likewise, don’t pick anything with sharp edges turned inward that could cut the person to shreds. If you use handcuffs, make sure you have the key.

  3. Step 3

    Tie your partner up. A traditional stance is binding someone spread eagle on the bed, with arms and legs tied at the headboard and footboard or to the bed’s frame. You can also bind someone in a chair, to window bars or a fence or pretty much anything else immobile and sufficient enough to told the person. Avoid radiators that are hissing steam.

  4. Step 4

    Indulge in your dominance. Once your partner is tied up, you become the dominant master. Indulge in your role and make sure your actions are not harmful to your partner.

  5. Step 5

    Have fun, not injuries, humiliation or hurt feelings. Bondage is a form of play, not a way to torture or harm someone. If your partner is clearly not enjoying himself, by all means stop it. Also, discuss a code word in advance that either one of you can say to stop the action.

How to Start Foreplay

Ever thought about spicing up your sex life? Foreplay is just the right tool. You don't need to invest in fancy items or books to add a little spice back into your relationship. Try these easy steps to ensure a hot night between the sheets.


Difficulty: Easy
Instructions

Things You'll Need:

  • your mate
  • open mind
  1. Step 1

    One idea is to have your mate meet you for dinner at a intimate restaurant. The restaurant should be themed to the mood you are trying to set. Setting the mood for the night starts by tantalizing the senses! After a nice meal he or she will be ready for dessert!!! If you know what I mean.

  2. Step 2

    I have learned that visual stimulation is a big turn on to the human species. Ladies,for the night plan a strip tease class for your man. These are very popular now and to see his woman do all these fancy tricks will surely rev his engine up for later on. Men I wouldn't leave you out, but to do this for your woman is a little different. But just the thought of you doing this will be something different and exciting.

  3. Step 3

    The unknown is a very sexy tool of foreplay. Not knowing what will happen next brings anticipation and excitement in the bedroom. Have a taste test of different items, all sweet to stay in that mood. It might get a little messy but who else better to get messy with. Also if you want to go a little futher, bring in different items to rub or tease your mate with. Different items bring certain sensations to sexual sensory zones of the body which is a great starter for a night of great sex!

Ways for Men to Last Longer During Sex

How long should sex last? How long is normal? A 2008 study by the Society for Sex Therapy and Research concluded that intercourse lasting three to seven minutes is adequate, seven to 13 minutes was desirable, and one to two minutes was too short.
Want to last longer? Here are some tips to satisfy you both.

    Retrain Yourself

  1. Many men learned to rush through sex as teens to avoid being discovered when masturbating. It may be time to retrain yourself.
    When you masturbate, go slow. Perhaps use other other hand.
    Sexual response goes through several phases--excitement, plateau, orgasm and relaxation. Get familiar with recognizing each level so you can stop before you lose control. Determine exactly when you reach the point of no return. Stop until that feeling goes away. Keep your eye on the clock and work your way up to 15 minutes.
  2. Things To Try

  3. The following are some steps you can try:
    • Extend foreplay. Good sex is more than just intercourse. Even if you don't last longer in intercourse, sex will last longer if you spend more time getting to "the main event."
    • Let your partner know when you are getting close so she doesn't accidentally push you over the edge. Use words, since non-verbal cues can be easily misunderstood.
    • When you're getting close, pull out and squeeze directly below the head of the penis for a few seconds. This can push the blood out of the penis temporarily. Have her lay still as you re-enter so you don't get restimulated too quickly.
    • When you're overheated but would rather not pull out, pull on the scrotal sac or have your partner do this for you. Or press directly behind the scrotal sac. These techniques can buy you more time.
    • Don't thrust too deeply. Emphasize sliding out rather than sliding in. Or move in a circular motion. This stimulates the entire penis rather than just the head. Move slowly in an even tempo.
    • Withdraw. Stop and start over.
    • Use desensitizing creams or condoms to lessen sensation.
    • Exercise your mind. Keep in mind being in control of the entire situation, not just your orgasm. You can choreograph the entire experience. change positions, stop and start, go back to
    kissing, The object is not good intercourse, it is good sex.
  4. Try a Different Position

  5. A change of position may help. In the missionary position, avoid lifting your body and plunging deeply or having her lift her legs in the air. These actions allow more intense sensations that may take you over the edge.
    • Sit down cross-legged and have her sit down on top of you. In this position, she is in control and sets the tempo, which lets you concentrate on control.
    • If she lies down on top, she does the work and limits your movement and excitement.
  6. What Are Kegels?

  7. Strong well-developed pelvic muscles give you greater control, helps keep erections firm and controls premature ejaculation. These muscles also control the flow of urine and other fluids from the penis. You use them when you stop your flow mid-stream or squeeze out the last drop of urine. Practice holding in these muscles several times a day to retrain them. Don't overdo it at first by contracting too hard or doing too many. But you will have more control over your orgasm as you strengthen your pelvic muscles.

How to Perform Correct Head Spotting for the Man's

Perform  Correct Head Spotting for the Man's Part in a Basic Bronze American Cha  Cha
Perform Correct Head Spotting for the Man's Part in a Basic Bronze American Cha Cha
balletisfun.com

Head spotting originated in ballet, though it has made its way as a basic technique in all dance forms from hip hop to ballroom. It is a very important technique to learn early on and can make any pattern or routine look sharper and cleaner. Below is a description of some head spotting points for men to keep in mind when attempting a basic Bronze American Cha Cha routine for the following: basic, cross-body lead, crossover, spot turn, chase, and three chas back and three chas forward.


Difficulty: Moderate
Instructions
  1. Step 1

    Look straight ahead at your partner for basic. When going into cross body, snap your head to face the same direction your body is facing on the "and" beat following beat "3." This allows you to still maintain visual contact with your partner up until the very last point, when you both transfer weight before the chasse of the cross-body lead.

  2. Step 2

    Snap the head again to face forward/your partner as you chasse into the crossover break on beat "3" following the chasse of the cross body.

  3. Step 3

    Snap the head quickly to face forward on beat "2" when you open up. Keep it there on beat "3" and then snap it back to face your partner on the "and" immediately following beat "3" so you can be together for the chasse.

  4. Step 4

    Turn your head for the spot turn on beat "2" when you step and look directly forward. Try to keep that contact even as your body turns the half turn and then goes forward on beat "3." Then snap it back forward to face your partner before the chasses to your right.

  5. Step 5

    Keep your head facing forward for the chase even as you turn, so that it can snap quickly to face the direction you are going next, rather than turning your head with your body all at once. It is the same technique as the spot turn, so you may want to do a few of these just to get extra practice. For spotting, use your partner and another reference point behind you.

How to Make Sex Fun To Last Longer In Bed

Last Longer  in bed
Last Longer in bed
http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=851

Lots of women complaint that men rush into sex. They go straight for the breasts and vagina leaving over 90% of their partner's body unexplored. This article will give you a blueprint for having pleasurable sex while taking care of each others needs. It is not a fix all solution but it should get your brain going into exploring ways to make sex fun again for both of you.


Difficulty: Moderately Easy
Instructions

Things You'll Need:

  • Partner
  • toys - if desired
  • Patience
  1. Step 1

    Shower - Besides the obvious reasons for showering before sex, showering together can be lots of fun. It also helps take away the anxiety men that suffer from premature ejaculation feel before sex. Your bodies will be relaxed and clean for each other. Do not go into penetration sex here; this time should be used to explore each others bodies. Use lots of touching, massaging, and do not rush out of the bathroom.

    Guys, run your fingers through her hair and slowly massage her scalp then run your fingers down to the back of neck and give her a gentle but firm massage. Her body language will let you know which parts of her body are more susceptible to your touch. Remember those parts for when you go back to the bedroom.

  2. Step 2
    http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=

    Now that you are both clean and relax it is time to jump into the bed. Remember that her entire body wants you; do not concentrate just on her breasts and vagina. By exploring both your bodies you get to know your partner's body in a more intimate way. Look for those spots that really get her going. Do not be afraid to ask but don't turn it into an interview. Run your hands down his body caressing his **** without inducing ejaculation. The point here is to play with each other using toys, fingers, hands, and tongue. It is important for both of you to control your breathing; it is especially important for guys to breath deeply and regularly or you will come quickly.
    Oral sex is a very important of a healthy sex; enjoy it with rush.

  3. Step 3

    By now you both are in heaven. You are literary all over each other and are ready for penetration. This is where most guys get in trouble as they lose track of how their bodies are feeling and ejaculate too quickly ending the fun.

    Sexual positioning is crucial here. The missionary position should be the last position you do since it usually makes men ejaculate quickly. Start by having her on top. Start slowly, control your breathing and give each other signals of when to go deep, when to thrust faster, and when to stop.

    It is very important for the men to know when he is reaching the point of no return and to stop way before he reaches that point. It takes seconds for a guy to come from the time he realizes he's about to burst.

    Change positions when you feel you are getting ready to finish; the time it takes to change positions should be enough for the **** to relax without losing the erection. Go back to foreplay if needed.

  4. Step 4

    Hopefully you both are enjoying each other and are having a blast putting into practice these tips and techniques. When done, stay awhile and kiss and talk or just hold each other. This is also important so as not to make the other person feel used. The greatest part of this is that you can practice time after time with new positions, new toys or new places. Enjoy!


How to Perform the Classic 69 Sexual Position

Difficulty: Easy
Instructions

Things You'll Need:

  • Flavored condoms
  1. Step 1

    Have your partner lay flat on his or her back. In the classic 69 position, this is usually the man; however comfort may dictate that the heavier partner take the bottom.

  2. Step 2

    Straddle your partner so that your genitals are positioned over your partner's face, and your face is over your partner's genitals.

  3. Step 3

    Adjust your position that both of you can orally stimulate each other's genitals. Avoid craning your neck, and make sure that your partner is not straining to reach you either.

  4. Step 4

    Begin slowly, teasing your partner with your tongue, and then increase the stimulation.

  5. Step 5

    Use your hands to provide an additional level of pleasure. Encourage your partner to do the same.

About sex drive

Sex drive encompasses the desire to have sexual intercourse as well as the different aspects of sexual arousal. It is a natural urge that is experienced by every species. Science classifies sex drive as an instinct that drives organisms to reproduce. Unlike many organisms, however, sexual desire in humans represents much more than just the need to procreate.


    Significance

  1. Sexuality is a central part of the human experience. It serves as an expression of our need to be close to and connect with another individual. It helps to strengthen the bonds in a relationship by allowing couples to connect with one another both physically and emotionally. Doctors and psychologists agree that a healthy sex drive is vital to an individual's happiness, health and well-being, and that it acts as an effective natural stress reliever.
  2. Male Sex Drive

  3. While both genders enjoy sex, there are emotional and physical differences in the ways in which men and women experience and enjoy it. Men typically have very straightforward and linear sexual experiences. They are stereotyped as having much higher sex drives than women. Although men enjoy the emotional aspects of sex as well, the physical aspect is often the largest motivator for them. Research studies report that men are generally more satisfied with their sex lives than women.
  4. Female Sex Drive

  5. While women also enjoy the physical aspects of sex, emotion plays a much larger role for them. The female sex drive is motivated by the need for emotional connections as much, if not more, than for physical enjoyment alone. For this reason, a woman's feelings about her partner can often affect her level of desire. The female sex drive is also different from a man's in that women usually take longer to become aroused.
  6. Complications

  7. When one partner has a low sex drive, it can be damaging for both partners in the relationship. Researchers have identified several factors that can lead to a low sex drive. Stress, health problems, aging, lack of sleep and some medications can interfere with the sex drives of both men and women. Low testosterone levels and erectile dysfunction are both common causes of low sex drive in men. Exhaustion and relationship problems may decrease the sex drives of some women.
  8. Prevention/Solution

  9. There is no precise definition to define a "normal" sex drive. What is normal depends upon what is normal for each individual. However, couples who experience relationship problems due to conflicting sex drives have many options. The most important thing that couples can do is to listen to each other's needs and feelings without criticizing. If a rocky relationship is the cause, couples can make an effort to spend some quality time together to help strengthen their bond.

How to Kiss to Perform Foreplay

Kissing can be a very important part of foreplay, if you let it. We're not talking about a peck on the cheek, but deep and passionate kissing-the kind that makes your toes curl.


Difficulty: Moderately Easy
Instructions
  1. Step 1

    Work head to toe-kiss in different ways from the top of your partner's head to the tips of his or her toes.

  2. Step 2

    Pay attention to how he or she reacts to your kisses.

  3. Step 3

    Kiss in different patterns-softly, deeply, gently, hard-and see what your partner likes best.

  4. Step 4

    Keep finding new erogenous zones to tantalize with kisses.


How to perform oral sex on a man

Performing oral sex on a man can be one of the most pleasing moments in a relationship. It can deepen a relationship and even persuade your Mr. Right to do just about anything. However, despite what porn says, performing oral sex on a man is not something that just comes naturally. It can be done wrong or uncomfortably for both of you. It can also be done in a manner that brings you both immense joy and pleasure. With a bit of forward thinking, you can make oral sex easy and enjoyable.


Difficulty: Moderate
Instructions
  1. Step 1

    Rub his penis through his pants. Touching his private parts through his clothing before actually making skin to skin contact will start arousal and sexual tension at a high level. This will almost guarantee an erection and will quicken the inevitable ejaculation.

  2. Step 2

    Pull it from the zipper. Removing his penis slowly will build a large amount of anticipation. Building such anticipation will increase his sexual desire to a point that he can barely stand it. He knows oral sex is coming. The longer it takes to get there, the shorter the actual act will take.

  3. Step 3

    Clean it slowly. Because the penis can be a source of urine and bacteria, feel free to clean it with a soft and wet cloth. However, by doing it slowly, you can make it part of your love making and less of a hygienic pause in your sexual act.

  4. Step 4

    Apply syrup or cream if necessary. The taste of a penis is not for everyone. Add some syrup or whip cream to the member to aid in its taste. Bring whatever you use to heighten the taste of the penis to room temperature. If it's right out the fridge, it will be cold and will cause an instant loss of arousal.

  5. Step 5

    Lick the shaft slowly. Let your tongue run up and down the penis. Think of it as a lollipop. Let your tongue massage it and embrace it. Let your licks be slow and strong, putting actual force to the member.

  6. Step 6

    Suck the testicles. Placing suction on the testicles will put an amazing amount of pressure on his balls. This will cause even more tension on his genitals. Be as gentle as possible because the testicles are very tender.

  7. Step 7

    Place the shaft in your mouth. This is referred to as "going down." Place the shaft in your mouth and go down on the penis. Use your neck to go up and down. Only take as much as you can. Gagging can be an uncomfortable experience and can cause vomiting.

How to perform sex

First Intercourse:

The male partner should slowly begin to excite the female by gently stroking her thighs and groin area. The female will respond to these actions by opening up her posture. If the female has never had a close contact with the male, winning over her confidence is crucial point for the male partner. It is always the male counterpart who has to take the initiative.

Gentle talking is the best way to win the confidence of such a woman. It should be followed by gentle caressing, stroking, fondling etc. of her sensitive parts so that the female acquires an open posture. It is also the high time to start undressing the female partner. Intercourse is a bizarre experience for a virgin woman. She doesn`t know how to express her excitement and sentiments. Hence, a prudent male must be watchful of her postures and natural responses. During the first intercourse, a woman leaves her body loose, closes her eyes, and rubs her thighs against those of the male ultimately dropping her shyness.A watchful man understands these signals and responds according to her own instincts.


Several preparations a man and a woman should take before their first contact after marriage. The male partner makes more or less similar preparations. Upon entering the room, he should occupy a place at the right hand side of the female. He should begin with stroking the hair of the bride while talking gently to her. Then he should caress her hands and hold them. Both of them may enjoy a mild intoxicating drink to do away with their shyness. The male must slowly reach his hands under the clothes of his partner and grope for the fastener. All other things like embracing, kissing, fondling, undressing and finally intercourse follow usually and this ends to a successful sexual fulfillment.